Before continuing this, I’d like to say that some of my background won’t be here due to privacy. With that out the way, let us continue.
Most people just see the wheelchair, it is worse now, but as a teen, when I went to the mall, people were idiots. Say I was in a line in a store or at the food court, they’d cut in front of me. My dad saw this once and said next time, nudge the ankles, so when they did, my chair was turned on & BAM! They’d be like, “Oh, didn’t see you, sorry…”
“Sorry my ass! You saw me, move bitch!” I’ll never know why people can never use sense, you know? Had to bump people like that to get points across and yeah it worked, but hated it. Like some teens, the mall was visited more than it should’ve been, it was a place to relax for me.
Alright, most readers know I studied martial arts, but the reason wasn’t explained. Growing up, both mom and dad taught me to be independent, teaching me to use the microwave etc. Well, the teachers at the high school ripped my self esteem to shreds, making fun of my speech slur, not allowing me to go take a leak & my fav? The speech therapist told me I need more god in my life, which after the third time, I fired back, “There’s a law separating church & state, look it up!”
Mom & I went to every martial arts studio in the area and all just saw the disability, but one guy blew my mind. The first lesson with him, I need to say I didn’t expect too much, but after evaluating me, he sat in a chair and reworked a couple moves from my point of view then worked on them with me. No other instructor tried doing that approach, they’d rather be by the book closed minded people. With Bill, Hakido rebuilt me backup and I made it through the ranks quickly, taking a few of his hairs while taking him down and flipping him! 🙂
My training lasted two or three years to my red belt with a stripe, then he had to stop teaching students. I did earn my black belt, but the lady I trained under was a flake. She said I could begin at the red striped belt & wanted to view a video of my last test. We gave it to her, she viewed it, but told me to forgot his teachings, the moves look choreographed. Um, what he had me doing WAS NOT choreographed! Even though I received my black belt under her, I never thought of her as my master, Bill will always be my mentor.
In 2002/03, the house mom bought was signed to me after she had to go into a home Though I pretty much took trash out, bought/cooked food on my George Foreman grill & did everything myself, some of the neighbors took it on themselves to come by to tell me I had no right to be in that house alone. I can’t take care of myself or it. WHAT? I take trash to the curb, took cans/bottles back & my nephew or my sister’s friend mowed weekly, so where is the dang fault here? Okay, the house needed TLC, I was getting to that. The bastard came to bitch about the house so much that I started carrying my wooden fighting stick.
But then here’s my screw up & it damn near made me kill myself. I let a couple roommates move in. The first damn lady pretty much was a flack, saying fate told her to be there. She didn’t let me do what I did, (trash etc.), but her “friend” was the real threat! The flake told me her friend and her man needed to move now and could they move in? I wasn’t too thrilled with that, it smelled, but they triple tagged me, begging to let em move in. I caved, but read on.
Not to offend readers, but her friend had mental issues. First night I was in my room thinking about where to put my computer desk, & I hear her friend tell me, “I know you’re listening to me going to the bathroom!” I WASN’T doing anything of the sort, it got worse though.
After the first woman moved out due to her “friend” the two stayed, breaking the toilet. If I was online, talking to people or doing anything, she’d accuse me of hacking their PCs, she was hacking all of ours. She reported me to yahoo, saying I was doing something and had my account shutdown! I NEVER did anything like that. If I went to an anime screening, five seconds after I get there, cell would ring, “When are you coming home? Your puppy needs to go out.”
She worked me to the point I called my sister & told her to tell mom I loved her then went to get my Tanto, (was going to kill myself). As I had it out though, one of my creations from my book stopped me and though it took a month of me moving in with my sis, the psychos were evicted. I know it sounds like I’m odd for saying Blackrose set me straight, but I’m sticking to it.
After moving back in, I lived there for awhile until neighbors and other forces had me move again, though the apt. complex was nice. Everything was next door, pizza place, my bank everything! There was a 8-10 mile bike path through woods I drove day after day that came to the park! One fourth of July, the guy who worked on my old chair invited me to that park with his family to watch fireworks. So we meet up and I have a few coolers, and on the way home, he says, “You’re fish tailing, man.”
Me being buzzed, I answered, “Am not, I’m okay, dude.” Kept weaving my ass off, but that was a damn good sleep, (surprised I got myself in bed that night). 😛
Now, the reason I remain single. I tried asking women out, but I’d freeze. The first woman I tried asking out worked at the mall’s record store where I’d buy anime from. I had to work up the courage for three months to attempt it, but she was a bust. A few years ago I reconnected with a classmate of mine from elementary school, but after listening to her talk about her dad issues, not to mention the part where she told me she doesn’t want/need anyone, her number was dropped fast! Someone told me I should date someone in a wheelchair. Well she is in one and the same issues can hit anyone.
Met a few ladies through messenger, which I know, bad move! Won’t get long winded here, but the last one pissed me off. We’d talk & everything would be good, but she’d go on her other screen names, pm me, talk to me for days. She’d then get on her main id, telling me I cheated on her.
To this day, the focus is on me, my writing and gaming. I have zero time for dating games people might pull. Does that sound like a bad way to put it? Anyway, hope these two posts helped you get to know Shadowlight better.